Matchmaker and Love Coach

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Why the Digital World is Leaving Our Love Languages Behind

September 25, 20245 min read

Have you ever stopped to think about the small joys that come with holding a book?

I was recently speaking with someone in his late 50s, and he mentioned how much he loves the feel and smell of a physical book. It’s not just the words on the page—it’s the experience of turning those pages, the texture of the cover, and the comforting weight of a good novel in your hands.

Later, a lady I spoke to told me her daughter wanted a Kindle, but she advised against it, saying, “You’ll miss the feel of a real book.” That conversation stuck with me. It made me realise how our digital world is slowly removing those little tactile moments from our lives, especially for those of us who thrive on physical touch. This experience resonated with me as I thought about the love languages and how our digital age may be distancing us from fulfilling some of those emotional needs—especially physical touch.


The Power of Physical Touch

holding cup love languages physical touch

Physical touch isn’t just about hugs or holding hands. It’s about the small, everyday moments that connect us to the physical world. Whether it’s holding a book, feeling the fabric of a favourite jumper, or the warmth of a cup of tea in your hands, these moments matter—especially to those whose love language is physical touch.

In our increasingly digital world, those little experiences are fading. We scroll on screens instead of turning pages. We send virtual hugs instead of real ones. For someone who values physical touch, these digital substitutes may feel like a poor replacement for the real thing.

When I think about the love language of physical touch, it’s not just about intimate gestures. It’s about feeling connected—literally. Whether it’s the comfort of holding a book or the presence of a person, that tactile connection helps us feel grounded and loved.


What About the Other Love Languages?

It’s not just physical touch that’s being affected by the digital shift—our entire way of expressing love is evolving. Let’s look at the other love languages and how they’re being impacted by our technology-driven world.

Quality Time

4 people walking and talking quality time love languages

Quality time used to mean sitting together, sharing an experience, and really being present. Now, more and more of our interactions are happening through screens—video calls, texts, or even social media. While convenient, it’s not the same as being in the same room with someone, laughing together, or enjoying the silence between conversations.

We might be more “connected” than ever before, but is it really quality time when our attention is divided, and our interactions are digital?

Acts of Service

man helping woman out of car acts of service love languages

Acts of service can be anything from running errands for someone to cooking a meal. These acts of thoughtfulness show care and love. But in our digital world, many of these acts have shifted online. We might send someone a delivery meal or order them groceries with a tap of our phone—but the personal touch of showing up and physically helping someone is often lost.

While these services are helpful, they lack the personal connection and care that traditional acts of service offer.

Words of Affirmation

listening words of affirmation love languages

A compliment or kind word can make someone’s day, but how often are we replacing meaningful words with a quick emoji or text? While there’s nothing wrong with sending a message, words of affirmation carry more weight when they’re spoken aloud. The warmth of someone’s voice, the eye contact, and the sincerity that comes through in a face-to-face conversation is hard to replicate in the digital space.

Gifts

For those whose love language is receiving gifts, the physical act of giving and receiving something tangible holds deep emotional significance. Whether it's a thoughtful present or a small token of appreciation, these gifts represent love, care, and thoughtfulness.

But in today’s digital world, even gift-giving has changed. Now, we often send virtual gift cards or order something online to be delivered straight to someone’s door. While these gestures are still thoughtful, the personal connection—the time spent choosing the gift, wrapping it, and presenting it in person—is sometimes lost.

lady giving flowers love languages gifts


Reconnecting with Our Love Languages in a Digital World

So, how can we keep our love languages alive in a world that’s becoming more digital by the day? It’s all about finding balance. Here are a few ways we can reconnect with our emotional needs:

  • Physical Touch: Take time to engage your senses. Hold a physical book, make time for real hugs, and embrace the tactile experiences around you. It might seem small, but these little moments of connection can make a big difference.

  • Quality Time: Prioritise real-life moments with loved ones. Instead of relying on texts or video calls, carve out time to meet in person. Whether it’s a walk, a coffee date, or just sitting together in silence, those shared moments can’t be replaced by a screen.

  • Acts of Service: Look for opportunities to do things in person. Instead of sending a meal through an app, offer to cook for someone or help them with a task. The personal touch adds an emotional connection that digital services can’t replicate.

  • Words of Affirmation: Try to say more in person. Compliment someone face-to-face or give them a heartfelt word of encouragement. You’d be surprised how much more impactful it is to hear those words spoken aloud.

  • Gifts: Consider taking the time to hand-pick a small, meaningful gift and deliver it in person. The thought behind the gift and the experience of giving it can make all the difference.


Conclusion

Our digital world has brought us convenience, connection, and instant communication, but it has also distanced us from some of the ways we naturally express and receive love. By taking small steps to reconnect with our love languages—whether it’s holding a book, spending time in person, offering a kind word aloud, helping someone or giving someone a gift in person —we can make sure that our emotional needs are still being met, even in a world dominated by screens.

Do you know your Love Language?

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Jacquie Eaton - Love In Sync

Matchmaker and Love Coach

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