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Infatuation or Love Bombing? 10 Tips to Know the Difference

September 12, 20243 min read

In today's dating world, terms like “love bombing” are thrown around a lot. But what’s the difference between a healthy, exciting infatuation and the manipulative tactics of a love bomber? Unfortunately, labelling every romantic gesture as love bombing may be causing people to miss out on the thrill of those first few dates.

Here, we’ll explore 10 key tips to help you figure out whether you’re experiencing genuine infatuation or if you should be concerned about love bombing.

1. Intensity of Affection

  • Infatuation: Both partners show mutual interest and affection at a natural pace.

  • Love Bombing: One person overwhelms the other with excessive praise, gifts, and attention that feel too much, too soon.

2. Respect for Boundaries

  • Infatuation: Boundaries are respected, even in the excitement of a new relationship.

  • Love Bombing: A love bomber often ignores your boundaries or pressures you to let them in too quickly.

3. The Pace of the Relationship

  • Infatuation: The relationship develops at a comfortable pace for both people. Even though the excitement is high, there's space for it to evolve.

  • Love Bombing: Everything moves at lightning speed. A love bomber may declare their love or talk about a future together within just a few dates, leaving you feeling rushed.

4. Your Gut Feeling

  • Infatuation: You feel excited but also grounded. You’re enjoying the rush of emotions without second-guessing your feelings.

  • Love Bombing: You might feel confused, anxious, or wonder if it’s “too good to be true.”

5. Balance in Giving and Receiving

two stones balances representing balance in a relationship

  • Infatuation: Both partners contribute equally to the relationship. You feel like you’re in sync with each other.

  • Love Bombing: One person gives an overwhelming amount of affection, gifts, or attention with the expectation of getting something in return—like control or dependence.

6. Consistency Over Time

  • Infatuation: The affection stays consistent over time, even as the initial excitement mellows into a more stable connection.

  • Love Bombing: The affection can quickly fade once the love bomber feels they have control. They may become distant or manipulative.

7. Pressure to Commit

  • Infatuation: The excitement is there, but neither partner is rushing commitment. You’re taking the time to truly get to know each other.

  • Love Bombing: A love bomber will push for fast commitment—talking about moving in together, marriage, or future plans after only a few dates.

8. The Feeling of Control

  • Infatuation: Both partners feel free to be themselves, and no one is trying to control or dominate the other.

  • Love Bombing: One partner may try to dictate how often you see each other, isolate you from friends, or monopolise your time.

9. Response to Challenges

  • Infatuation: Minor bumps in the road are navigated with mutual understanding, and conflict is dealt with maturely.

  • Love Bombing: A love bomber may become manipulative or passive-aggressive if things don’t go their way, making you feel guilty for asserting boundaries.

10. Emotional Rollercoaster

  • Infatuation: The relationship is full of joy and excitement, but there’s a sense of balance and emotional stability.

  • Love Bombing: Love bombing often feels like an emotional rollercoaster—high highs followed by unexplained lows, keeping you off-balance and questioning yourself.


couple holding hands loosely

Conclusion:

It’s important to enjoy the early stages of a relationship, but it’s equally important to stay aware of red flags. While we shouldn’t label every romantic gesture as love bombing, it’s essential to protect ourselves by being mindful of any manipulative behaviour.

Relationships are about balance, respect, and genuine connection—when it’s real, there’s no need to rush. Give yourself time to explore and enjoy the emotions, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries if something feels off.

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Jacquie Eaton - Love In Sync

Matchmaker and Love Coach

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